Monthly Archives: August 2013

About My Family

Updated on : August 27, 2013



Today, I will write about something personal.


I have been not feeling super well for past 2 weeks.

It started on August 14th.

Got better last Thursday on 22nd but still feel sad sometimes so guess still something is getting me.


As I have written a little about my family and my depression in an older post

Associating people from other countries”,

the family I grew up in is a twisted one.

It is called “dysfunctional family” in the psychological term.


Baby hand


I went to a festival with one of my band mates on August 13th.

I was thinking about going to the festival by myself on 13th or 14th.

We were chatting on LINE, and I had something to give him

so thought about meeting him up somewhere to give it and then

asked him if he would like to go to the fes with me and he said yes so we went together.


After the fes, we were chatting in his car as we sometimes do.

While we were talking, he mentioned something about his sister’s family.

The daughter of her sister is having hard time at the moment and stuffs.

Since I grew up in a stressful family for kids,

I was saying that she probably needs to do something she enjoys

not to care about the achievement, she probably is 20 years old now,

but probably cannot know what she likes to do,

what she enjoys if she could not train to feel it until now.

I also talked about my family stuffs.


I was living at parents house till early summer 3 years ago.


I wanted to move out someday

(I was at their place to rest since I have very severe depression on my early 30s)


but how I moved out was not something amusing.


I have 2 brothers. My middle brother has schizophrenia.

He was like a disabled man once like 9 year ago, but he got a lot better in years with medication.

Schizophrenia is an illness that he or she does not notice he/she has it.


It has hallucination and auditory hallucination as the symptom.


I assume it must be really hard if he/she sees or hears things without knowing they are false.




Anyways, July 3 years ago, I assume my brother had cut his medication

at some point probably because he did not know he was ill or something.

One day when my parents were gone,

I thought about cooking for myself before I went out that night,

asked him if he wanted me to fix something for him too.

He got raged and shouted something like “you don’t need to worry about meal”.


Since I did not know that he had his symptom back,

I got mad a bit and shouted “what is your problem” or something.

I was at the middle of the ladders since his room was upstairs,

I was talking to him from the downstairs at first but climbed a bit to talk to him.

While I was talking to him he looked like he was kicking me down

so I backed down the steps and tried to talk to him,

since the way he acted was quite odd and I started to think that something was going on with him.


He came down the stairs while we were talking,

he looked like he was going to punch me so I grabbed his arms to prevent it and asked him questions.


What I found out over the conversation was


that he thought I was poisoning my family when I cook.

He also said that I was putting something poisoning to the laundries

that he felt numbness (?) when he did laundry.


It was really sad that he thought that way,

I was sad the fact he was thinking that way but also sad since I believed he was only getting better.

After that, I called up my parents cell phones.

Mother I could not be reached but father.

I asked him to come home and talked what I found out over the conversation with my brother.


Since I needed to go out that night, talked with both of my parents the next day.

I really do not know how to describe their reaction though….


from that day and on for about 2 weeks,

I needed to go out at night to secure myself to the convenience stores

or at my friends’ house after my parents went to sleep.




I was scared since my brother was a night person.

I was afraid that he would attack me while my parents were asleep.


For 2 weeks, I tried to find somewhere I can stay for a while at night

until my brother got better to secure myself near my parents house

but I did not have the luck so I decided to move to one of my close friends from university in Osaka.


It was sad that my parents did not care enough to make me feel safe.


As I write this, I wonder why they were OK with me going out every night

to the convenience stores or friends’ house and did not do anything about it.

I did not notice that back then. Actually I noticed it now. It is really weird.

I don’t think I would be OK with that situation if I was a parent……



I talked to my band mate a short version of the above story

and he said he was sorry for me,

he said “it must be hard to go through”.


The word he said to me along with the story about his sister and his niece probably got me.

Non of my family said “it must be hard for you” to me.

When I went to Shimane to see my niece in June,

I had a little talk with my eldest brother about my middle brother and also our family issues.

All I heard was very harsh things for me.

We talked on the first night I got there and I felt like going home at the very first night I got there.

Didn’t leave since I went there to cheer my niece Karate tournament on Sunday

and it was only Thursday.


I really did not know what was upsetting me this time after about a week later.

Apparently it is because that someone else gave me warm words to me but not my family.

The band mate and my eldest brother is just an year difference

and I feel like him a bit like a big brother so I got all confused with his word I guess.


Why a stranger can be warm to me and not my family?

Why do they hurt me?

I guess they do not mean to though, it still hurts.


After 2 weeks from the talk, I still feel a bit powerless.

Got a lot better than the first week though…..


The good thing is that I know more about my family now.


I sort of believed that my family would help me in need. I know now that they don’t.

It is sad to notice that but better than not knowing it.

If I had noticed that my eldest had been hurting me all years since I was like 18,

I would not have talk to him our family issues in June when I went there.

I was so open to hurt since I just did not recognize the reality.


It is kind of odd that I believed that my family is the family who helps me in need though.

Someone who I can talk to.


Maybe because it was nice to believe.

People believe what they want to believe,

so probably that was what I was doing.


Last November,

I found out that my middle brother’s symptom got all worse

that my parents could not ignore anymore.

They left him in-medicated for good 2 and half years after I left.

That upset me SO MUCH, that I cried so much back then.

I started to take counseling after last November.


I thought my problem was resolved in my 30s

when I understood that my mother’s unhappiness was not my fault.

Not because I was born.

My suicidal feeling was gone after I understood it,


but looks I still have subjects to solve.



I think that is to recognize what my family really like.

If I understood my parents correctly,

I would not get shocked when I heard about my middle brother got all worse last November.

Think back that they cared less for my safety 3 years ago,

it was quite obvious that they were capable for it.


I really want to be happy.

I mean I am usually quite a happy person, but get upset sometimes with my family issues.

I do not know how exactly but I really want to solve this,

so I can maintain my happiness as long as I can.


I know I am not the only one with weird family.


I really want to be happy and I really want everybody to be happy.






LoVendoЯ “Kono yoni~” lyrics trans

Updated on : August 21, 2013



Hi there!

How are you doing?


I have been thinking about having YouTube channel on Japanese lesson,

have not done anything yet, well trying to learn how to use

the Windows Media Player and such to carry it out but not done much yet :p.


For those who are interested in learning Japanese, stay tune ;D!!

Using lyrics is one good way to do the Japanese lesson.

This is my first trial on that.

Have translated the lyrics of Reina new band LoVendoЯ

“Kono Yo ni Shinjitsu no Ai ga Hitotsudake arunara” lyrics.


Don’t think it is a good idea to paste Japanese lyrics on copy right law, so just

pasting the English translation here!

Thanks for the idea Jet and Smaui~!



Passion, you can kiss me the way you want

(I Love You)

Fashion, you can be eccentric as you wish

(Love You More)


The night a bird shed tears with sadness

Cus she cannot fly the sky


Passion, burn the flame

(I Love You)

Tension, the love like the tensioned string

(Love You More)


Get on a cloud

I will be there

Hold you as I did in the dream


If there is one true love in this world

That is the love

I give to you


If there is one false of me

That is me who says I don’t miss you

At the night I do not see you

Pretend to be tough, Tonight


Passion, you can be selfish as you want

(I Love You)

Passion, you can be sexy as you wish

(Love You More)


Woke up with the strong wind at night

Suddenly worried about you


If there is one true love in this world

That is my love that connected to you


If there will be a false tomorrow in this world

I will not end today

Tonight I will hold you forever, Tonight




If you have any suggestion on Japanese Lesson

on YouTube that I am thinking about,

let me know via comment, PM or whatever~!


I am still thinking about it so. Thank you!




Live night!

Updated on : August 16, 2013   *  Last modified on : August 18, 2013



Hey~, how are you doing?


Last Sunday, one of my band guitarists

(we have 2 guitarists in the band) had a live with his other band

in Osaka. So we went to see the live!


It was the 7th anniversary of the bar they played in so we got free drink.

Paying the 3,000yen at first then we did not have to pay anything for drinks.

I have not been too much live bars but guess it was pretty cool treat :D!


OK~ pasting the cute photos first :D.


This is the son of the guitarist, Juma-kun.

Isn’t he cute??  He is 3 years old.


The second is Juma and me. I had to put this one up since this is good photo of mine XD.

Juma-kun Juma and me

Juma me and Mine-san

This is Juma, me and Mine-san. Mine-san is the other guitarist of my band.

He was shouting out laud at the live and he lost his voice the next day XD was so funny!!

Mine-san is not the father of Juma ne, the guy in the photo below on the right end

(with a guitar) is Juma’s Dad, Hisato-san.


Hisato-san has a studio at his work (he runs a gardening company I believe)

and we go there every once and then. Pretty cool to have a private studio!!



Izu-yan, the vocalist.

His eyes are really strong (not sure how to say it in English properly) that I kind of

wanted to put my eyes away from him but couldn’t… haha, kind of his eyes caugh my eyes

and never get away.

About the eye power, we call it “Medikara” in Japanese.

Write like this ne XD.


meaning a person with strong eye power? or eyes with the power if that makes sense.

You can get the image with this illustration right XDD??

Adding the description of Medikara since I have asked~~ :).
Thanks for the question corny-chan :D!!

“Medikara” is the impression that the eyes expression or the look give.
The person who has strong medikara give impression of strong will and inner strength.
Medikara is also said to show the person’s inner state, if you are happy it strengthen and
if you are sad it would be weakened.
The person with no medikara is called “dead eye” XDDDD.
The expression “Medikara” is rather new. It used to be called “Ganriki” or “Ganryoku”.

There were 3 bands performance that night.

My band guitarist’s band went first and the second one was guitar and Niko, a Chinese

2 strings instrument.


Hummmm cannot find the similar music that the guitarist played on the net.

It was SOOO COOL! It’s pity that I cannot share his music here!!!


For the Niko (erhu) play, you can check it out here.

This is her (Kimura Haruyo) homepage.


These guys were the 3rd and the last band.


Each band played for about an hour.

All bands were well. I was quite stunned with the Niko (erhu) and the guitar play though.

We stayed there from 19:00 to 23:00 that night and ended up missing the last train :p.

Stayed at our band vocalist Kine-chin’s place :p :p :p.

He had to work the following Monday….. hope he did not hate us….



Cooling goods in Japanese summer

Updated on : August 7, 2013



Hi there! How are you doing today?


As I wrote about the idol curries the other day,

had pretty much interests in the curries and umeboshi on facebook XD. Thank you every one~!


Your comments always make me happy (*^^*)!! Arigato ne!


Since I read a comment from Sabrina who is now studying Japan,

is experiencing some tiredness in our HOT SUMMER,

I am going to write about cooling goods hope to help you out with it Sabrina-chan!!

Everyone wants to spend days with certain comfort!


As I wrote on the previous post,

Since I am living in an apartment 2nd floor on two storied building,

it gets really hot in this room

so as I would dehydrated by just napping without air conditioner ;____:.


So this year, I am using more air conditioner and also

n e c k  c o o l e r

along with the air conditioner. I am sure it will help you too if you have not been using it.


There are several kinds with different prices.

Those 100yen shops (like dollar shop in English) have them too and so as super market,

convenience store, almost anywhere during the summer.


I have three. Using 2 of them at home.

The other one, I bought to use outside last month since I had an activity

with nearby elementary school kids.


Here are the 3 I have.


Neck coolers I have


Haha, it is not really fancy picture :p :p :p.


The upper 2 are the thermal gel ones


Thermal Gels for neck cooler


Freeze it in the freezer before using it and put it into the cover when you use it.


The one I bought this year for using outside is called Magicool.

This one does not require freezing beforehand.

You would just need some water to soak the Magicool in before the usage.


I think this one was the most expensive among the 3 and was more or less 1,000yen….

and worked well.

I played with the elementary kids about 2.5 hours and I did not need to soak it again during the time.


If you are interested in the mechanism check this video out ;).



I am not sure if you call this thing really neck cooler in English but we call it “neck cooler”.

It would be in Katanaka desu :D. It would look like this below ne.


Neck Cooler in Japanese Katakana


OK, have a great one everybody~~~~~! <3 


P.S. Try to eat umeboshi or necchu-sho taisaku candy (preventing heat stroke candy)

along with water or drink pacari sweat to balance your body water and ion too!

Zemanta Related Posts Thumbnail



Idol curry in hot Japan summer 2013

Updated on : August 5, 2013





How are you doing today? I am doing fine!


I have asked some of my friend if there are any idea on what to write on my blog.

Got some brilliant idea from my friends.

One of the idea from corny-chan was to write something I think interesting in my daily life.

Thank you corny-chan~~~ for the idea!!! (^3^) chu chu!


So today, I am writing funny stuffs I found at a super market I go to every once and then!!


Most part of in Japan, summer is quite hot and also humid.

So people have less appetite.


What good to eat in hot summer is curry!

A spicy food always help your appetite in hot.


And probably umedboshi too ne!!




This is my private umeboshi by the way XD.

I just took out from my refrigerator to take this pic XDD!


When I was talking to one of my band guitarists 1 – 2 weeks ago.

we were talking about heat attach and dehydration.


In recent years, probably because the temperature is higher than before?

people get heat attach even they are inside the buildings.

When I was little, we did not hear about that as often as we do now.


And I myself got dehydrated last summer while I was inside my house napping.

My head and back of my neck hurt so bad, felt like puking and I believe I actually puked….

felt so strange. I googled the symptom and I noticed that I got dehydrated….


Probably because my room is on the 2nd floor of the two-storied building,

the room gets really hot during the day.

When I was living at my parents’ we did not use that much air conditioner

my room was on the first floor also,

so I was doing the same at my apartment here and got that for that.

It was pretty tough. I am using much more air-conditioner this year

and also some neck coolers.


Oh, let’s get back to the story, while I was talking to the band guitarist,

he also said about the heat attach he had several years ago.

In his case, he was outside working.


His symptom sounded very different and way more severe.

When he got his heat attach,

he was barely able to walk properly.

Only could walk like when you got drunk. You kind of walk shaking right and left

and unable to walk straight right?

That was what has happened to him.


Luckily he was with his co-workers and he told them something is wrong

people noticed what that was

and one of the old guys gave him 3 umeboshi to him.

After eating those 3 umeboshi, he got back to normal in a couple of minutes.

Isn’t it cool??!?!?!


According to him, he was taking too much water but not salt content

and it probably caused some problems passing the command from his brain

to the legs and other part of his body.


While I was writing this,

I have just noticed that probably the causes of his symptom and mine were pretty different,

cus I was dehydrated but he probably wasn’t but salt content.


Anyways…. if you come to Japan in summer

and planning to walk out side for a long time or

go to concert outside or

even staying at a place with little air conditioner or something like that,

remember to take water.

Maybe “Pocari Sweat“ would be nice.


Pocari Sweat was made in the concept of “drinkable drip injection”

containing ion that human body consists.

You may find some more info on the wikipedia page.


Hummm getting long on heat attach and dehydration

but what I was going to write about was

idol curry!!!!!!!


Idol Curry AKB


This is what I saw at a super market today.

When I went to AKB shop in Namba Osaka with Tony a bit before,

they were selling these curry, and I pointed these out to Tony and

he showed me the photo of those curries he bought at the near by supermarket.

I did recall that I have seen Shinoda Mariko curry

but did not see it the other too at the supermarket I usually go to.


I saw all 3 of them today at the other super market XDDDD.

The price of the curry is 298yen.

The cheapest curry at the store was 98yen

so like tripled.

They better be good ne???


I also found these curries XDDD! The Star Wars curries!!!!


Star Wars Curry Japan 2013

Star Wars Curry Japan 2013



Look at the price. 128yen!

Guess idol beats Yoda, Darth Vader and C-3PO. I kind of feel sorry for C-3PO.

He is too cute to be defeated in my opinion….. ;_____:.


If you lost your appetite in Japanese summer, maybe curry will help ya ;)!!



P.S. I am not sure if “heat attach” is commonly used word in English,

but if you want to say it in Japanese that would be “Necchu-sho”.

And dehydration is “Dassui shojo”.


Watch out for the heat in Japanese summer ———!!!




Ayaya married with w-inds. vocalist

Updated on : August 4, 2013   *  Last modified on : November 14, 2016






I just saw this news on online news!


Ayaya, Matsuura Aya from Hello! Project

got married with the vocalist of w-inds today!


Congratulations Ayaya and Keita Tachibana!


Looks they are having a small wedding in Hawaii with family and close friends after October.


Both of them their debut in 2001 so know each other for 12 years.

Happy wedding~~~~!!!



Fee for joining H!P or M-Line club

Updated on : August 3, 2013   *  Last modified on : December 1, 2016



Hi there~.

Since the conversation on fee to join H!P and M-Line FC going on in Idol!Swap,

I am just updating my blog on it.


Probably there are other people want to know about this too ne?


You would need someone with Japanese address to help you to get in the fanclub

if you are living outside Japan.

The page on explaining on the fee is here for H!P and here for M-Line.

The fee is basically the same for both fanclub.

There are two parts of the payment.



1) Initial fee (only need to pay for the first year) — 1,000yen

2) Annual fee — 5,100yen

6,100yen in total for the first year. 5,100yen from the second year.



There are 3 types of membership,

junior membership,

normal membership,

special membership.

Since junior membership is for a kid up to 6th grade,

and special membership you would require ID check to get the special credit card,

you do need to have actual ID with Japanese address so if you do not live in Japan

this one is impossible to get as far as I know.

So the above fee listed above is for the normal membership ;).

Any further question, feel free to ask!

With my address, I already have 3 membership for H!P and 2 membership with M-Line.

My fee would be 1,220yen to help you getting the membership


I do not make more than 3 membership on my address since I hear the rumor that

FC would eliminate your membership by having many memberships registered with one

address since they assume you are a ticket broker.


At this moment, only one room available for M-Line.

The second amendment is here below.

Before editing, I had 3 more rooms for H!P and 4 more rooms for M-Line with with

my brother’s address but since he lives far away and

me unable to get the newsletters from FC, I would hold it.

If I ever find somebody who can help me out with this close to where I live, I will open the offer again.

Sorry about that. Those who has contacted me on it, is the exception.

I can register you with my brother’s address and if I ever find other help,

will change your registration address to whoever that help us out!